10 Questions with Jflex

Jflex
November 6th 2003: Interview #3
1. How many mirrors do you have in your house?

Inspired both by my love of my physical aesthetic and Radiohead, I live in a house made entire of mirrors. You would never know it from the outside, but walk in and you're confronted with 360 degree views of your fly self, echoing around the world like a beautiful song. One interesting consequence of living in such an environment is that I don't bathe or cook. Some coding mumbo jumbo about how a "bath made out of mirrors will leak" and a "stove made out of mirrors will explode" or whatever.

I also tried attaching mirrors to my cat, which worked rather well until he broke one of them. I'd be damned if I was going to live with that 7-year-cursed cat, so let's just say my response was 'knives out.' Hey, free dinner.

2. What's the most expensive mirror in your house?

Undeniably the blowup doll mirror. It's a bit inaccurate to say she's fabricated from glass, which a mirror is, because she actually doesn't have a shard of glass on her supple skin. Instead, she has a sheathing over her soft innards that is comprised of mercury resting between two sheets of clear silicone. The result is a reflective female form who moves with the elegance of a supermodel, allowing me to stare at
my own beautiful body as I pound away with the vehemence of a Howser cannon.

3. Do you think men can be motivated in their line of work if it involves trying to impress some girls?

I don't think men can be motivated in their line of work if they aren't trying to impress girls (or other men, as the case may be). Is it not just a continuation of the peacock's displaying a plume of feathers when a man flaunts his successes at work?
He drives his BMW out of his law firm's office and takes his date to an expensive dinner. Even if he's married, he can't ignore the extended gazes betraying desired trysts from lower level female coworkers, as they image being swept away to a remote Tahitian island by this alpha male. Indeed, it is the goal of every male to be the object of desire of all the women around him, and yes, this applies to married men. One of the most common and effective means of achieving
this is through success in the work place.

4. Pepsi of coke?

Noticing the former is capitalized and the latter is not, my politically savvy mind sees a potential trap from this shark reporter. I stand at the podium at my press conference and say the following:

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, good evening. I stand before you as President-elect Flex, and wish to address the questions about my use of both the popular soft drink, Pepsi, and the illicit substance, coke, publicly.
As many of you among us can relate to, there were times during our younger years when our morals took a back seat and let impulse take the wheel.
These are not moments we are proud of, but they contribute to the very fiber we, as people, are comprised of.

Yes, I have tried Pepsi. I am not proud of it and I only took one sip before passing the can. I can say right here and now that no moral transgressions, be them sexual or otherwise, came as a product of that usage (that was all due to my insane charm... a ha ha ha). It was a one time affair with the temptress of substances, and one that I have grown from.

Regarding my usage of coke, I just did a whole fucking mountain of blow before this conference
and I feel like a fucking eagle, man! A bald fucking eagle!
The crazy thing about eagles is howtheycanswoopdownon
theirpreyandkillthemwithouteventhinkingaboutitandthepreyneverknows
thedifferenceheydoyoulikepancakesasmuchasIdobecauseIknowaplacenearhere
thatmakesthebestdamnflapjacksaround. I'm buying!
5. Reread question #1 and answer it again but do it from the perspective of a gay man. Be exquisite.

Fernando, take that off! You look ab-sol-utely redickulous! You are too much! Okaaaay, so you want me to be a full on home for this one? Easy! Hee hee hee!

Ok, well, I spend round abouts four hours - yeah, I said hours girlriend - in the gym every diggity day because I've just gotta have that 50 Cent body. That guy has a body with so many ruffles and ridges I'd like to break a chip off of him and eat it all up! But if I can give my 2 cents to you, Mr. Fifty, I'd tell you to get your fat friend Dre in the gym
so you two can totally fag out for us. Can I spell 'hot' with 3 t's? Hottt!

So anyway, I like imagining little ants skiing down my abs and being all like, "Oh my god! This is like totally the best mogul field I've like ever been in!" And then they'd get to my ski jump and be like, "Oh my God! This is like the biggest ski jump I've ever been on! It's like never ending!"

I love having a house entirely made of mirrors so I can be like GayFlex in 3D: IMAX to the Max! Everywhere you look there's another muscle that makes you scream! Waaah!

6. Are you the driving type or the walking type?

Walking if it's an option. I saw a thing on Mariah Carey on MTV once that said she took her limo 2 blocks down the street to a restaurant, and that pretty
much explains my views on unnecessary driving. For one thing, there's a distinct merit in both walking alone or with friends -- gives you a much more leisurely time to either think or have a good conversation. For another, it seems that people are always inclined to immediately jump to the aided way of doing things when the manual way can be just as good, if not better. What's easier: spending 10 minutes walking to a place, or spending 2 minutes driving and then 8 minutes parking? I also appreciate the little things you tend to notice in an area when you walk that are always missed during a drive, like that little garden statue, or those two bullet holes in that mailbox.

7. What brand of bicycle do you own?

I don't think cycles should belong to anyone. How can you ask who owns the twice-per-day (bi) cycle of the sun's raising and lowering above and below the horizon? Who, may I ask, can claim to be the legal owner of the cycles of hunger, which come and go for me twice a day as well (who the actually eats breakfast?). And most importantly, how can you possibly ascribe any form of ownership to the various cycles bisexual people go through? I am one to believe their goings on, be it sexual or otherwise, are their business, and I am certainly not the owner.

There is one notable exception to this. I am the owner of a bisexual male named Charles. I bought him when I was in Prague in a swap meet for the equivalent of $46. He was selling himself, and said he would be my sole property, and I would have exclusive control over all his behaviors, so that includes his cycles. So to answer your question, I own a Charles bisexual cycle. He's rather worthless and I've never ridden him.

8. Will you ever wear a Codpiece out in public?

Would you leave the house with dirty underwear? Does a cop go on duty without his sidearm? Does a chef enter the kitchen without his knives? Why month last week I found myself in a den where, if not for my codpiece, I would have been in quite the awkward situation.

9. How come you didn't rush out to enlist in the armed service when Bush was trying to rally the nation as we ready ourself for War in Iraq?

I am a 23 year old male who was raised in an America whose God is money and whose goals are restricted to areas of self-betterment and personal fulfillment. I have been raised to value tomorrow for the dollar that can be made, the fun
I can have, and the love I might find. The country in which I live is not a living, breathing, fallible organism that needs to be sustained by the bacteria living atop it, but is rather a steadfast entity, unflappable regardless of the goings on outside of it. America's well-being has been as constant as the existence of air for my
entire life, so it comes to me in alien tongues when the following beliefs are said :
.

1. Giving my life for my country, thereby sacrificing the ideal of Tomorrow, is both reasonable and noble.

2. My country is able to be undermined and fettered

3. My dying for this now fallible country could should somehow register as a logical decision.

It is mostly with 3 I take issue. I fail to see why I should die for a country I don't love, given that my purpose in life has been taught to be my own enjoyment. Why would I die if I don't get to enjoy the country that I am helping to sustain?

That, my friend, is just an issue with fighting.

The reason I'm not fighting in the Iraq war, beyond all of that, is because we have been led into a battle by an administration that seems to have no conception of the situation where war is necessary. This war, the the aftermath of it, is utterly unnecessary. The reason it makes me so is because it attacks the solidity that I enjoyed in America for my 23 years. No longer is America unflappable, you see, because now the world is against us. No longer can I mindlessly fumble along through my life
seeking some form of hedonistic bliss because now I need to be concerned about our standing in the international community, and our being under constant threat of terrorist attacks. Basically, my blissful cloud has been taken away by an administration due to a war that was completely unnecessary.

Oh, let's not forget one more thing: our generation is a bunch of pussies. You think any of us could really stand being shot at? Please. The generation that fought in the past ground wars were men. We're just a bunch of children, regardless of our age, and there's not a chance in hell we could survive in combat without first pissing ourselves and trying to run home.


10. So, I beg this final question...is this interview just ripe for a 10 to 15 minute live jam?

No. The first problem with that question is that you mucked up (how's that for 50's slang?) the entire quotation. The question should have been:

"So, I beg this final question... is this interview just RIPE to be a 10-15 minute live jam?"

Secondly, it is very difficult to find things that are just RIPE. The total number of RIPE things that science has uncovered can be counted on one hand, and there is
little this track is just RIPE to be a 10-15 minute live jam

10 Questions with crazy..maybe

crazy..maybe

Interview # 9
November 25th 2003
Melissa
1. Would you give up Jflex in place of Brad Pitt?
Juston and I have a mutual agreement that if given the chance, we are allowed to make out/have sex with one celebrity of our choice with no consequences to our relationship. Brad Pitt is my current celebrity of choice. So y'see, I can have my cake and eat it too! No need to give up Juston.
2. Why are blondes naturally more prone to being the ass-end of a 'DUMB BLONDE' joke? Dispel this myth here and now.
Well it's quite obvious, given the context of this question. A 'Dumb Blonde' joke is obviously going to be about a 'Dumb Blonde'. However, I don't think that's really what you meant by that question, so I'll also answer the question that I think you meant to ask, 'Why are Blondes perceived as dumb, and why are they the ass-ends of jokes?'
I believe that, like so many other things, the media and societies high regard to the media are responsible for this stereotype. Take some examples of characters on TV: Kelly Bundy, Kelly Taylor from 90210, Chrissy Snow, the blonde chick on Three's Company, and Kim from 24. They have all be put into this 'Dumb Blonde' category, though some more subtly then others; they are still cast into that part. The media feeds us these stereotypes, and people have placed such high regard on what the media tells us to believe, that naturally, blondes are dumb. While I'm sure people don't really believe that all blondes are dumb, they fall prey to making and laughing at 'Dumb Blonde' jokes. They aren't even very funny, so maybe it just takes 'dumb' people to come up with and laugh at such banal humor.
3. Do you seriously think the United States of America is going to end up in the crapper if Bush wins a second term?
Granted, I have been a bit out of touch lately with everything that has been going on with Bush. Frankly, it annoys me so much that I find it hard for me to pay attention for extended periods of time. I do believe that Bush is an idiot who is using all power that was given to him to take action on issues that are personal/moral beliefs of his own rather then looking towards the interest/benefit for the rest of the country. I think that at this point in the game, Bush knows that he has made some poor decisions, but rather then making himself look like a failure by admitting he made poor decisions, he is going to continue to follow through with the decisions that he has made, while trying to clean up the mess, and this will inevitably turn into a bigger mess. Bush needs to be taken out of office. That's the bottom line. The United States of American will surely end up in the crapper if he wins a second term. I'm not so sure we aren't there already. It's going to take a lot from the next President to get us out.
4. When was the last time you've dreamt of Radiohead and what was it about?
I'm trying to think about when this was and I honestly can't remember. I'll have to come back to this question.
I honestly can't think of the last time I had a dream about radiohead. The last one that I can remember, all I remember is meeting Thom. Oh wait..no.. that was in real life.
5. In a fight between May-May and Shimbot, who would you place your bet on? why?
Shimbot by far.
6. Name one foreign movie that has moved you?
I'm going to have to go with 'Run Lola Run'. This is by far one of my favorite movies. The entire film from start to finish was brilliant. The cinematography, acting, dialogue, plot line, even the soundtrack. All brilliant.
7. Being beautiful is a state of mind as well as a physical thing...what tends to be more effective or more powerful?
This is a tough question because I believe the two go hand in hand. Society has placed such high regard on physical beauty, that it is harder for people who are say 'average' in physical beauty, but may be 'above average' in 'mental beauty' to get their foot in the door to show that mental beauty. People are noticed first by their physical appearances, and if someone is turned off by someone physical appearances and discriminates because of that, then there is no way that the person will even receive a chance to show their intellectual beauty. This raises another subject that I am very curious about: Discrimination of appearance. People constantly talk about discrimination due to race, religion, weight, etc etc etc. But you never hear anyone talk about discrimination based on looks. It's there, though. I know that I have gone to a store that had a man working there, and there have been 2 women who needed help, one particularly better looking then the other, and the better looking girl is the one to be helped first. It happens all the time. I have gotten out of countless speeding tickets, for no other reason that I can think of, other then I'm a cute girl. I definitely believe that people regarded as 'good looking' are treated better in the American society. This all goes back to the original question, I believe that it's easier for someone to see their own inner beauty as long as they are not being treated like hell because of their outer beauty. I know that I am not ugly, despite what Unabashed might say, and I have confidence in myself. The confidence definitely shows through, and people have told me this. I don't, however, believe that confidence comes from physical beauty in any way, shape, or form. There are countless people who are beautiful and then once I hear them talk about how ugly, fat, some other unflattering comment about themselves, that they are, I get turned off by them. Confidence is the thing that allows me to see beauty as a whole in other people. It's attractive, and as long as it's not forced, and is very natural, it allows people to see past the physical aspect. So, in conclusion to all of that, confidence, being the state of mind, definitely has more power over physical beauty alone. The two combined, however, are a combination that is rare, and once found, never forgotten.
8. Should all Shallow people deserve the fate they end up with? Such as being torn emotionally when things aren't going their way?
Shallow people are shallow people, just like every other person, the fate that they end up with is ultimately there because of decisions that they have made in their life. They are responsible for their own actions, and for any consequences that may arise. People deal with things in many different ways. Who’s to say that a ‘shallow’ person will be torn emotionally when things aren’t going their way, and a ‘deep’ person won’t? Not me, that’s for sure. People operate in such strange ways; there isn’t really a way that I can put them all into one category. I know plenty of ‘shallow’ people that get emotionally torn just because things aren’t going their way, and I believe it boils down to immaturity and the lack of ability to take responsibility for their own actions. On the flipside to this, I know many ‘deep’ people that behave in exactly the same way.
9. If you can go back in time to your younger self, which age would that be? Why?
I honestly don’t know if there is a time that I would want to go back to. If I did go back it would have to be before certain events in my life happened, so that would be before I was 7 or 8, for a very specific reason that is to personal for this interview.
10. Are you willing to give me a small passionate hug?
Who wouldn’t be willing to give you a small passionate hug?

10 Questions with PsychedelicFlower

PSYCHEDELIC FLOWER
interview #5
November 9th 2003
1. Give us a mighty good reason why we should visit the town or city you live in?
Well, I could do the cliché thing and say "cos I'm here!" It popped into my head as soon as I read the question, but it really is so cliché. I currently live in Vancouver B.C. Canada. Why should you visit Vancouver? It's a beautiful city. There are lots of trees and lots of green everywhere, even downtown. There are mountains as backdrop on one side of the city, and ocean on another side. If you smoke weed, we've got good shit here and a lot of it. We have Canada's only nude beach, if you're into that... I come from a very small town in northern BC (10,000 people) where everyone is connected to everyone somehow, like if you don't know someone your mom does or your best friend does. It's got a really strong sense of community. No city can have a community feel that's as strong as that, but for a big city I feel Vancouver is definitely a community. Plus, we have the Canucks
2. What sort of Animals do you fear the most??
Um, none? I'm the kind of person where if I'm fishing and I see a mother bear and two cubs 50 feet away I'm floored. Maybe it's a bit naive of me, but animals really don't scare me, they just fascinate me. Honestly, the animals that scare me the most are probably large dogs. Mind you, I've never been face to face with a grizzly or a cougar or anything else like that.
3. What was the last good Movie you've seen?
Well, I went to the new Matrix movie the other night but it wasn't really worthy of this question. The last good movie I saw... I really don't know. I rewatched The Sixth Sense a couple weeks ago, but I had already seen it. Maybe Requiem for a Dream on tv a couple weeks ago? But again, I had already seen it. I have no idea, sorry, this wasn't very interesting. I usually have a good memory but for some reason I can never remember which movies I've recently watched. Hehe, ok, I just remembered what movie I watched recently that I really enjoyed - The Rocky Horror Picture show!
4. How well do you take in Negativity toward you?
It depends on who it's from and why they're being negative. If it's constructive criticism from friends/parents/profs then that doesn't bother me at all, I welcome it. If it's from bitches/assholes then that also doesn't bother me, as I don't give a damm about what they have to say about me. It's when it's from friends that it hurts. I think I have a tendancy to take jokes directed at me too seriously, even if they're made by my good friends and are only in the name of fun.
5. Name your favorite Radiohead B-side and tell us why?
Fog. I don't know why. I just adore every second of it, right from the moment it starts to play. My experience with the song is kind of like the reserve of my experience with Like Spinning Plates. I first heard LSP on Amnesiac and it was nice but not spectacular at the time. And then I heard a live version of it and I couldn't believe it. It was really cool how the studio version is all electronic, and the live version is just Thom on piano. And Fog is like that, except I first knew it as the Thom and piano version. I really like both versions and this song actually competes for the title of my favourite Radiohead song ever (along with about 20 other songs that is).
6. Do you have a second favorite band that you are obsessed with?
Right now, no. Back in grade 9 (about 6 years ago) I first heard Jamiroquai and I was crazily obsessed with them (I didn't know anything by Radiohead at the time). That all faded after a year or so. I would say I probably am a little obsessed with Radiohead these days. I get obsessed over things easily though. Usually if I see a band perform live I obsess over them for a few days (Hawksley Workman recently) but that doesn't usually last for very long. My all time favourite band would probably be the Beatles. I've loved them since I was a little kid. Right now (and for the past year or two) my other favourite band is probably Sigur Rós.
7. Many people have little silly dating preferences, do you have any, or are you just pretty open to anything, anyone?
Well, I don't exactly date. If some near stranger were to ask me out I'd be extremely uncomfortable and wouldn't be able to go out with him. I need to be pretty comfortable with a guy before I can do anything date-like with him. The last couple of guys that I've gotten involved with were already good friends of mine. It's not the best game plan, I know. But I just feel extremely uncomfortable with guys I don't know well. If they start to show interest in me I get wierded/creeped out.
8. On what end of the spectrum do your parents fall into: Republican or Democratics?? if not, answer 'others'
Well, I'm Canadian so neither. My parents are pretty right wing. My uncle was an MP with the old Reform Party of Canada, which was as far to the right as politics go in Canada. Tied in with this party though was frustration with Ottawa for neglecting the western provinces... so there's more to it than just old fashioned right wing politics.
9. Are you religious?
We're getting personal here... I didn't see this question the first time I read them all over. Depends on your definition of religious. I am spiritual for sure but I have a lot of problems with organized religion. Organized religion seems to encourage ignorance and intolerance. People stop following their beliefs, and just follow their religion instead. I come from a Catholic background and I went to a private Catholic school as a child. There are a lot of religions that I know very little of that I would like to learn more about.
10. Who is Come Louder?
I don't know, you tell me. I'm serious, we should have a Come Louder interview as well. Heh, I think I'm avoiding the question.

10 Questions with Shimbot

SHIMBOT
Interview # 15
December 10th 2003
Peggy
1. Isn't it strange that you went back to your High School Reunion as a School Teacher? how did your fellow students reacted??
I did not go to my high school reunion. The people organizing it were the jocks/cheerleaders, and I’ve always been against that whole scene. I don’t remember, but I probably stayed home, ate ice cream, and watched a “24” rerun.
2. Would you rather fall in love first with that person or have that person fall in love with you first?
I would rather fall in love first with someone. I never know how to react when someone falls in love with me unexpectedly. I think that I’m a pretty honest person, and I would like for the other person to be honest with me. If I like a guy, I’ll straight up tell him I like him. That might not actually be the best approach to starting a relationship, but I hate playing games. I don’t give guys with cheesy lines the time of day. That may be intimidating, but too f’in bad. Once I had a guy at the supermarket say “I think you’re gorgeous.” That was sincerely flattered. That took guts. If he would have said “hey baby … wanna share that jar of mayo?” then I would have walked away.
3. What type of person were you back in your High School year?
Laid back, not really belonging to one particular “group” or “clique.” Everyday was a different day for me. I ate lunch with different people. One day it was the Goths, another day it was the geeky Asians, the next day it was the smart athletes or the wannabe poser skaters. My best and constant friend in high school was my sister. Some days it was just “us” and no one else.
4. everyone's got bad hair. Take us back to that crucial year and describe to us what sort of mop you had above your cranium.
Between ages 1-8, I had a bowl hair cut. Why, you’re so lucky cuz I’ve got a kindergarten photo of meself, in me back pocket!!:
5. (COOL 80's TRIVIA) Give us one cool TOYS from the 80's that you had the pleasure of owning.
Actually, I was deprived of toys. I was such a nerd even back then, I’d read the family encyclopedia set for fun. My favourite encyclopedia letters were A (for the animal section), B (for the bird and butterfly section), D (for the dog section), H (for the horse section) … there’s no point in this. I liked every letter. Even XYZ. I plopped down on the floor with an encyclopedia and I was entertained for hours on end.
6. Jealousy is childish. I think at one time or another, we all get jealous. What was the most dumbest 'Jealousy game' you've been thru.
I’m rarely ever jealous because my parents taught me to be content in any and every situation. I’m pretty content with myself. Oh but … Hahahhaha! I’m laughing now because I remember one time when I was jealous … this was here … on atease! I was jealous of may-may! She already knows this, but I was jealous of her special relationship with a certain someone special. Yes, I’ll admit it. It was a stoopie, lame game, that I am truly sorry for.
7. Where were you on 9/11 and what was your initial reaction?

Coincidentally, I stayed home from school that day because I was “sick.” I got a phone call from my sister, who urged me to turn on the TV news. I was shocked. I was confused. I was horrified. I had no idea as to why this was happening. I was .
8. Love is....?
Patient, kind, does not envy, is not proud, is not rude, does not seek its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. God is love.
9. Predict the geographic location where you'll run into your Husband (this is not a serious question...just play along)
I don’t understand how this question could be a “joke” anyway, so I’ll take it seriously. I’m a 28 year OLD woman now. I’m serious obsessed about marriage.
okay. So anyway. I live in los angeles. Maybe I’ll meet him HERE. I’m going on a UK tour in july. Maybe I’ll meet him THERE. Who knows. The future is exciting. I can’t wait to meet my soulmate. This is what I look forward to: To hold and to cherish … that ONE person. I want to be able to maintain as much peace in his life as he would mine. Our home will be a peaceful haven for ourselves, our children, and friends …
10. In your own word, please pick one member of ATEASE and describe them.
Okay. Here goes. Stream-of-conscienceness style, yo’s:
He pushes me up to a state of emergency. Two worlds colliding. Me anxious. Him tranquil. He feels me, though thousands of miles away. We feel each other. We KNOW each other.
I want to desperately know everything about his mind and soul, and yet, I know exactly what he’s about. He wants me gently, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
A few words mean a lot. It’s sexy. It’s cool. It’s him.
A few words mean more. It’s sincere. It’s collected. It’s him.
Beautiful man. Forbearing man. Loving man. Patient man. Comforting man. Sexy man. Manly man.

10 Questions with May-May

MAY-MAY
Interview #16
December 11th 2003
1. Shimbot once accused me of falling in love with you, just she like accuses me of every other thing. Do you sometime get this idea that someone likes you but in actuality, they're not?
actually, i’m usually the exact opposite… i tend to never know if someone likes me more than a friend… all the way up until they are buying me flowers and asking me to go away on long, romantic getaways… giving me jewelry and watching me while i sleep.
2. SCOTT called you a Succubus during the Blackstar/May-May era. How has the May-May of that era and the May-May of this era differ?
i really don’t think that i have changed as much as SCOTT and our relationship have evolved. it took him some time to warm up to me, perhaps because i am not japanese, but now I deeply love this sweet young boy with an asian fetish… and i think he harbors fond feelings for me as well.
3.You were number one in all the Beauty Polls and all the Atease Society quickly manifest itself into a love-hate relationship with you. Do you find these polls annoying?
the polls don’t really annoy me… but i do think they’re rather trite. so many of the girls on atease are beautiful, inside and out, that it’s really shitty to make people pick a favorite. i feel extremely lucky to be categorized with most of those other girls and honored that people choose me. but since there are so many beauties, it would be nice if they weren’t pitted against one another.
4. crazy..maybe once said, 'May-May's got everyone under a spell' and she is right. You've seem to be quite magical. What part of you is doing this??
hmm.. i’d have to say… it’s my ass. i’ve got one of those ghetto-booties… ala j-lo… i think that is the source from where the magic comes… it’s been called the “magic booty” before.
5. Faithless the wonderboy and you....?are destined for a long, happy marriage with 2 beautiful hapa babies. his sense of humor, his laugh, his sweetness… his accent… his intelligence.. these are all aspects of him that I am deeply enamored with. but mostly, i just like him for his ginourmous schlong.
6. I love my own personality so much that I once fell in loved with myself. It also easy as well to pleasure one self with HOT intricate details of ONE's LOVE for ONE self and for a special treat, I took myself out to dinner. Do you agree or disagree about self-loving?
i think that self-loving is a wonderful thing. like they say, you can’t love someone else if you don’t first love yourself. however, Come Louder, i would warn you against loving yourself in public, like say at a restaurant, there are laws against this and you may be arrested. But other than that, and within the privacy of your own home, car, or garage… love freely, love often.
7.As kids, our Parents taught us to love our own body and to appreciate ourself. But as we grow other they sort of advise against you if you dare strip nakked in front of people. Why do you supposed there are such a drastic gap between childhood and adulthood when it comes to loving one's own body?
well, i believe that adulthood has sadly become equated with killing the inner child… and with that horrible fact… we are taught that our bodies, or beautiful nekkid bodies, are to be covered and hidden from the outside world. it's really quite sad. luckily, there are wonderful men like Michael Jackson who are on a crusade to never stop loving our inner children… no matter how old he grows.
8. Come Louder once called you 'Tub girl', heres your chance to tell him off (Officially, make it sting baby)
Come Louder, i aint got nothing but love for you, baby. there’s no hate in this heart of mine for you. like with SCOTT, I have developed a deep fondness for you that cannot be remedied… your sharp mind and wit are legendary… you will always have my adoration.
9. Bruce Lee or Jet Li?
this question’s just way too easy… Bruce Lee all the way, baby… that’s like asking me to pick between Radiohead and coldplay.
10. How has love treated you in these past few years?
well, up until a couple of months ago, i truly didn’t think i would ever find true love and happiness. then, i met Blake (Faithless)… and since then, it’s been like a dream. he really was made just for me, and i have never been happier with another person in all my life. and like i said… his penis is ginormous.

10 Questions with Brown Stripes

BROWN STRIPES
november 3rd 2003: Interview #1

1: Since showing up here on Ateaseweb.com, do you believe this place was at its most GLORIOUS PEAK, PRE or POST-CRASH???I enjoyed the HTTT build up and immediate aftermath where new stuff happened everyday.Now it does seem kind of slow and the same threads, talking main here, keeps popping up again and again.But it's not as bad as some will want you to believe.
Some small post crash changes are: less n00b bashing, less hoaxes and more moderating on main. Before the crash I just posted my lame polls on main and though they were totally off topic they stayed there.Oh oh and allow me to add that I think Kathargo should be destroyed. Totally wiped out!
2. Anyone in particular that you think is the VIRUS or the Disease of ATEASEWEB?

something that needs removing.
Is that a leading question? The recent trolling on main has been pretty bad! And there are countless of annoying people but I wouldn't say anyone can claim to be THE disease of AtEaseweb. When WWTN was at his worst he was pretty close but he is nothing but a broken retard now. A sad shadow of his former sad self. He got owned and he still hasn't recovered!
3. What is Denmark Like compared to Ateaseweb.com?

That is one tough question! Say At Ease was a country? Hmmm, well Denmark is definetely not as chaotic and everything is pretty systematized here. Wellfare is a key word around here.But eventhough it is a small country it is still very diverse depending on where you live, with many different ethnical groups as well.The only thing the two has in common is lots of different people.....But what do I know? I avoid people like the plague
4. I remember you having a conversation about the silliness of how people name a certain block of ice inappropriately, like GREENLAND should be ICELAND and ICELAND should be GREENLAND.If you could change the name of any one given country, would country would that be?I wouldn't change Greenland and Iceland cause it is pretty funny the way it is. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
5. What name would you give it?
Well Johnny, you see, Lots of countries have boring names. I think they should change their names now and then. What do you reckon Johnny?
6. And why??
Cause I say so. I can be dangerous you know
7. Are you emotionally or physically attached to Ateaseweb.com?
Well I go there almost everyday so I guess so but it's not like it's the most important thing in my life. The most important thing in my life will always be drinking to get drunk.
8. What are your views on the war on Iraq?I was against. Good Saddam is gone but the motives behind it and its long time perspectives worry me. The so called war on terror is creating new generations of terrorists.
9. How are your wife and Kid?Hahahahahhaha! No wife. No kids. Sorry. I sometimes imagine the first girl i fell in love with, that she is my wife HAhahahaha but I haven't seen her in four years.......no I have difficulty seeing myself married in the near future. Very unlikely.
10. Before we go, name one person from Ateaseweb.com that you like?COME LOUDER of course! Though less after some of these questions!

10 Questions with Blackstar

BLACKSTAR
Interview # 11
December 8th 2003
Christopher O' Riley
www.christopheroriley.com

1. Have you ever fed a troll?

I feed them on a daily basis, just by being alive. They metabolize sheer attention into vitriol and bile. I would love to feed a troll his balls one of these days.
2. How often do you get up in the morning?

Well, the TrouserSnake keeps odd hours. He's always very insistent before bedtime, and has to be told in no uncertain terms that his salad days are over. That said, he can usually be consoled leafing through various Juli Ashton shots, Japanese girl-school annuals, and the like. He's usually 'put to sleep' by 1am, but he's normally an early riser; usually about 4. i always tell him he's just wanting to have a pee, and we argue (tousle, what have you) til I get up, finally, at around 6.
3. In case of Emergency What do you pull??

In the direst and dearest of Emergencies, i quite often pull OUT..
4. If you date a psychic, Chris, you wouldn't have to really say anything because she could read your mind, don't you hate that?

Dating the psychic isn't really so much the problem as getting to know the psychic: it's getting slapped in the face every three seconds that usually puts a damper on things.Very important though: I've learned that, as romantic as it may be to be able to finish each others' thoughts, presume to know each others' desires, it keeps one from ultimately acknowledging the other person's integrity and special qualities, and that's always death to a long-lasting relationship. That, and my general passion for putting a woman in the woodchipper on the first date.
5. You know May-May could be a ninja spy and shimbot could be some crazy assassin chick. I think Asian girls are capable of coming home and telling you that they're deadly Ninja Warrior. I wouldn't be surprised if I end up marrying a ninja warrior princess. Do you take lesson in self-defense? or have you ever consider any of it?

Well, considering that i've already been shot down by both of them, I think their assasin credentials speak for themselves.Those, and other, failures aside, I had my first Asian girlfriend of life this past summer. It was a true highlight. She was a magnificent and imaginative lover (ever had a girl ask you, three days after meeting you "Are you into role-playing?"), and I do think there's something inherently different about sesnuality in Asian culture. Is it taboo and the thrill of transgressing? Is it the general sense of inscrutability wherein the father is always the hardest to please, and so the male is always the biggest prey/prize to be won? Is it the lack of AmericanWoman sense of sex as commodity? Don't really know; just know i never had so much fun in the sack, ever.
6. I always have this idea of going around trying to get into some neo-nazi's daughter's panty because I think nothing is impossible. This is bullshit, however...the question is which foreign dish have you had the pleasure of sniffing or scarfed on?I always get real suspicious in Korean restaurants, especially as I've had some sort of glassine-noodle-type-thing with what looked very much like Windex poured over it, so I somehow imagine there's a whole laugh-riot going on in the kitchen as they assemble odd combinations of starches, verminous meat products and household solvents.I think you're on the right track with the skinhead's daughter's underwear drawer. You'd probably have a greeat time with her, and find her quite willing. I once had an affair, though, with someone who now qualifies as some kind of royalty, and whose father sold steel to the Germans in WWII. She was rich, but a real drill sergeant in the sack; the Aryan blood really not being conducive (in this case, anyway) to any kind of activity other than forceable takeover, sexually. I had to check to make sure my unit hadn't been annexed.
7. Are you sick and tired of Black Dude meets White Dude buddy cop movies? I haven't liked one of them (though I think I've seen most of them) in many many years. But i think that's just mostly because Wesley Snipes hasn't been in any good ones. He's better on his own (Blade, Blade II; they ROCK). I fucking HATE Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence. Too bad Dennis Rodman can't act. He has better tits than most of the actresses out there, and a better technique with makeup.
8. I once found $20 dollars lying on the ground. What is bad luck to someone is Good luck to me. I was happy and I immediately went out and purchase a CD. Just my luck, I picked up a cracked one. I think that was Karma. If you want to refill your Karma, you stay away from Porn. How's your Karma?

My Karma sucked before I ever saw porn. And since I only really get off on the rather small boutique speciality of women-and-woodchippers, I can't say as abstinence (or just rarity or material) has helped me any. I fully expect to meet my death on the first hot day of a NYC summer, walking along while some shitforbrains is installing his new air-conditioner in his 18-floor studio apartment: 'Oops!", and I'll be flattened. Not great fodder for the eulogy, either: "He met an...interesting though not terribly dignified end.."
9. What the hell am I saying here------> "I'm left wandering under Blue Eyed Skies"? You and me both, though BlueEyes are most often focused inward, and if they happen to glance in your direction baskingly, they're probably just near-sighted, and don't really mean it. I've been fooled too many times.
10. Will you Marry me?

I love you too well to marry you, CL..

10 Questions with Clockwork

CLOCKWORK
March 17th 2003: Interview #1
1.Are you a hard liquor type guy or a beer swigging type kind of guy?
If I had to answer one, I would say hard liquor. I am not that much of a drinker, but I do know that if I want to get drunk, I’m going to get sloshed off of some hard shit. This way, I have to piss less, chances of vomiting are severely limited, and I wont be falling down sloppy drunk, I’ll be confident beaver-hunter drunk.
2. How hard is it to wake up in the morning?
These days, it isn’t that hard. I usually wake from sleep in until 1pm most days. Being unemployed and talented, I have a lot of time to work with my music, which gives me a reason to get up in the morning.
3. What do you think about the current state of the world we live in today?
It’s OK. If there was no religion, I think that the world would be a much, much, much better place. I am waiting for the day when Aliens contact humans and tell us that we were just an experiment of theirs, and that all of the fighting and death that has come from our religious, racial, and political debates over the years will be petty.
4. If WW3 breaks out, will you find yourself in the frontline or will you risk everything andtry to hide it out?
Really depends on the situation. If this last war with Iraq was labeled WWIII, I would laugh and look the other way. If there was a true reason that I believed in so much, that I would risk death for, then yes, I would have no problem being on the front lines. However, I don’t foresee anything that I could feel that strongly about ever happening in my lifetime.
5. Have you ever seen Death in the eyes before?
No, I’ve been pretty lucky. I was rear ended once…and I got a new car out of the deal.
6. Have you ever witness the misfortunes of others? (right before your eyes)
Yes. I once saw a lady get hit by a car that had to be going 70 Mph, but I don’t really want to talk about it.
7. Do you often find it hard to not stare at underage girls these days because they no longer look their age?
YES! Its almost like they are shoving these little hotties in my face. I don’t give a fuck if Hilary Duff is 15. She shouldn’t be all over my TV if people didn’t want me to say that. The people that put her on TV know that she is hot, so they should expect shit like the “Hilary Duff Countdown to Legality” website. And those Olsen twins too, I want to bang them. To reiterate, it isn’t my fault that they are hot and on my TV, so don’t yell at me when I say I want to bang them.
8. Would you like to spend a day with a serial killer and keep a journal of what he goes thru and the things he do?
The Zodiac. Most likely because he was never caught, and his games with the police were brilliant, in a totally sinister kind of way. I have done a lot of reading on him…he just seems interesting.
9. What do you consider as a 'GOOD' relationship?
Like with a girl, or with your family? Either or, good communication. Since girls are mostly crazy, you have to know whats on their minds at all time. My old girl used to look at me as if I was a mind reader. Fuck, how was I to know that she wanted a glass of water? She should have fucking told me.
10. Are you ever going to become famous for your talents?
Depends on which talents. My songs that I write will never spawn a top 40 single, a grammy, or sell a million copies. The album that I engineer and produce will win grammys. And Ill be able to retire young. My ears will end up being my talent, and Ill be making some fantastic albums with some fantastic musicians.

10 Questions with User

USER
Interview #4
November 8th 2003
Lorraine

1. What level do you find yourself on the Social Ladders??
Well, that's a complex question. Despite my country's leaders going on about meritocracy, there are certain class divisions (though defining them is difficult because it breaks down the moment you try). I'd say my family is upper middle class. As for education - a way in which my poor countrymen are segregated, I'm (unfortunately) in what is considered the "highest" class, basically, the ones able to enter university. Only applicable for Singapore though.
2. What was the last good you've read?
I assume you mean last good book... Well, I enjoyed reading The Speed Of Dark by Elizabeth Moon. But I didn't think it was so accurate, so going back a bit in time, the last really good read I had was Waiting For The Barbarians by JM Coetzee, that's my lit text, but that's how little time I have to read in general! I read a really cute children's book as well, Howl's Moving Castle, but I forgot the author. And also, another children's book, Charmed Life, but again, the author slips my mind, I just remember she's female and lefthanded!
3. What particular type of art medium do you prefer?
Me Personally, I always like Pen & Ink. I'm really horrible with my colors.Of course I am into acrylic and canvas.... the occasional marker pen makes me happy as well. I am very into the idea of working with glass panels and lipstick, but this is something that would require money, a commodity which I am sorely lacking... Frankly, I think it depends on the picture you have in your head - the kind of effects you want to achieve. I would like to try oils for the texturing but will not have time until exams are over
4. How has Radiohead affected your life?
Ah. The Million Dollar Question! What can I say? I love them. Thom's voice and lyrics have been a special inspiration. They are one of the few big pop (term used loosely here) bands to retain the "art for art's sake" motto. The beauty of Radiohead is that the music is made for its beauty. The lyrics are made of beauty. And the music is beautiful. And, that is one reason why my life is enriched. After all, if life is not about beauty, what is? There is no purpose in life if we did not appreciate beauty, and Radiohead are part of that. Argue that beauty is subjective though, and I will agree. But I'm a Radiohead fan, and (to me) they make beauty. Radiohead are a band that teaches us to see the beauty in life, at least it has taught me. Listening to Radiohead has made me realise that a "thing of beauty is a thing of joy forever". That's why I still love Street Spirit as much as I did, if not more. Like a good book, it never wears thin. Like a good book, it teaches me something, always makes my life better, always is a reason to live. Like I said, if there wasn't art to enrich life, things would seem dull and bleak indeed. A world without colour.
5. Can you describe to us what this phrase 'Sleepy Jack the fire drills' mean?
OK this is going to be really long. I'm gained from my friends (treefingers) that "fire drill" means fire alarm. So in a literal context, "sleepyjack the firedrill" would mean "ring the fire alarm". However, quotes should not be taken out of context (at least I don't believe they should) so I am going to type out a long long long piece on how this relates to Morning Bell. WWS already knows this, and disagrees, so if he's reading this, peace! (I know your view, but I was asked mine...) My view is that Morning Bell is all about the feeling of alienation from society. I wouldn't go too much into detail about it, but basically, the previous lines *before* our quote are all done in typical "dialogue" you would find in any speech... very mundane things... gets more messy as it progresses... until "clothes are on the lawn with the furniture". And note he sings after that "I might as well..."... showing that he (not specifically talking about Thom, but the persona he is taking on) is tired of all the mundane things in modern society; he goes "sleepy jack the fire drill... round and round..." So I conclude that probably "sleepy jack the firedrill" is metaphorical as well. I could go on forever about what this means, but seeing that this is long enough, I'd just conclude this question by saying the metaphorical part of "sleepyjack the firedrill" is probably referring to trying to raise an alarm (to the people, to wake them out of their apathy)... note the contrast... "sleepyjack the firedrill" fire alarms are not associated with sleepiness. Thus the phrase already has an innate tension that we should note. I'll stop here.
6. In honor of our Good friend, Scott, what city do you dream of visiting???
The city in the clouds. Where clouds serve as nice big big cushions and you can bounce up and down on them! And although the sun is shining there's always a slight breeze, and squeezed crystal juice to make one happy.
7. Dali or Picasso??
Picasso. Why? Because he lived to 91!! And also because I've read more about Picasso than Dali Dali will just have to wait.
8. Do you find Abstract Art as a brilliant individual creation or do you find it distracting and self-indulging?
Both. I think most art is self-indulgent. Not saying that it is bad, I'll be the last person to say it is, but it's a good way of expressing ourselves. And that's what self-indulgent people do. Most don't have the chance to express themselves. All artists are fortunate in that. I don't think the self-indulgence aspect should be limited to Abstract Art alone, and same with the "brilliant individual creation". All art is distracting. The artists are usually the disgruntled members of society; their job is to change conventions (example, Pre-Raphaelite brotherhood) to give an alternative perspective, to provoke the majority of people to think about themes they would normally shun. Art is a distraction in itself I think. But also, it takes real skill and creativity to be able to convey your points of view/emotions to the audience, so it is a brilliant individual creation as well. I feel this applies for all art, not only abstract art... any form of art. In literature, in music, in flims... always there will be critics saying that the stuff is brilliant, and other critics bashing it for being self indulgent. Oscar Wilde wrote "when critics disagree the artist is in accord with himself" So yeah, I don't really have a fixed opinion on that. It's a 3 in 1 thing I think, just like instant coffee.
9. What do you personally think about Stanley Donwood?
He's a great artist. I think he's pretty versatile; he's able to do artwork as well as draw and paint. I like his artwork because it's done in such a natural manner. He's not contrived, whatever comes out seems to come out naturally, you can see this in the Radiohead artwork. I can't bring to mind any of his stories, but you will forgive me, I just had a test which I failed, so... I would definitely put effort into analysing his stories if I had the time. After exams I say. After exams.
10. Will you go out on a date with me???
Yes, if I ever manage to leave the computer chair or the house! I seem to be growing tendrils that have wound themselves tightly around the legs of the chair.....

10 Questions with Barracuda

BARRACUDA
interview #7
November 24th 2003
1. Since you are Asian, are you Alive and well? (read this question carefully)
Alive? Yes. Well? Maybe, I'm in better shape now than I was say three years ago. Over the last few years I've been exercising somewhat regularly and such. There are some trouble parts of my body though, specifically my neck and my jaw, they crack often and are louder than a pair of maracas at times. Maybe its time for me to see a chiropractor.
2. Do you think Asian people have it better off in their own country or in America?
Well the thing about immigration is that there is a good and bad side to it. The good is that you'll have a better chance of success and profit in the new country. The bad is all the excess luggage that come along with moving to a new place, such as adjusting to western life and dealing with predjudice. I think that immigration is a good thing though, it helps people cooperate and get to know each other's cultures, it also gets a mosaic of a cultural background in a country, like in Canada.
3. Is the world ready for an Asian version of Radiohead?? or at least a band with the same kind of creative output as Radiohead. Like mindedness.
I don't know for sure, the setting is right for it considering the turbulent social and political atmosphere in Asia. I think that before any of this can happen though, the entire western stereotype that must be dropped is that of Asians being hard-working, methodical mathematical whizzes and not as artistic as say Europeans are. There are alot of Asian artists out there, they are all pretty big in their parts of the world but havn't achieved worldwide success, many factors contribute to that. The main reason could be that the media are focusing more on North American or European acts because that is where the music market is these days, but there are also others such as geographical isolation, protectionism (countries must broadcast a certain amount of domestic media), etc. I do think that one day a great music act will come from Asia, the setting is right and our infuence in the world is growing.
4. Who do you consider as the most interesting historical figure?
Genghis Khan. LOL . No seriously I do consider him to be quite an important historical figure and its not just because I'm Mongolian. There alot of false rumours going around about him, how he was a ruthless barbarian who pillaged helpless villages. But alot of that bad stuff is bullshit most likely created by bitter and vengeful scholars who have a grudge against athiests who obtained great power. Its hard seperating the truth from the bullshit. The truth was that he was a conqueror and did build an empire through conquest, but he is no worse than say "Alexander the Great" or "Julius Caesar" who did the exact same thing yet get relatively good recognition. Few people acknowledge the positive things he and his family have done for the world, such as open up the trade route between Asia and Europe and also liberate small tribes together to form individual nations. The man also had morals and believed in honor and a godlike being in the world. I could get even deeper into Mongolian history but I feel that I should leave that for whoever requests me to share it, cuz it'll take a while I guaruntee.
5. (scott related questions) Do you think his obession with Nacchi is borderline freakiness? or just some Western idolization thing about Japanese women?
I'm afraid that I don't know much about this Nacchi jazz, but I gotta say this: Japan is perhaps the strangest country in the world. For millenia they have always been in isolation form the rest of the world on their little island, creating their unique culture. They have also gone on a rollercoaster ride of leadership over the years, from monarchy rule to fascist rule to democracy. The country is like a strange brew of traditional and futuristic ways, making them stand out in this world. Well this probably doesn't answer your question at all, but its what I came up with to sound intellegent.
6. How often do you argue with with your parents??
Oooooh a more personal question. I argue with them a healthy amount, not too much and not too little. When I was young I rarely argued, but lately I've been more unsettled. They argue with me because they think they know whats best for me, which usully turns out to be true and I end up making a fool of myself. But I do think that some conflict between child and parent is a good thing, don't ask me why because I have no way to describe it, but I just have that sort of mentality.
7. Are you losing faith with the world?
No. The world is an equilibrium system. Sometimes more bad stuff occur, sometimes more good comes around. When one side gets too concentrated, the other side will balance it out eventually. An old saying goes that "There can't be any good in the world if there isn't any bad in the world." and I think that's what applies to our lives, one cannot exist without the other.
8. How scary is 'The Patriot Act'?
Being a Canadian, I'm not too aware about the details on this act but from what I hear many people are concerned about it violating their rights and such. I think that the act itself was created out of a uber-paraniod goverment and people post 9/11. It is not unusual to see drastic amendments to right being made during times of crisis. Actually this sort of stuff has been going on for centuries in various civilizations, history is quite cyclic when you look at the big picture. All I know is that the current government is not the right one to lead the U.S.A in the present, it is too incompetant and stubborn for guiding a major world power. This sort of stuff would never happen in Canada, security is important here as well, but Cretien knows where to draw the line wheras Bush doesn't.
9. Do you relate yourself well to Detunedradio's personal feelings and his personal views on society?
Well I used to agree with quite a bit of what he said a few months back, about how Asians were stereotyped and have it harder adjusting to western life. Recently though, I feel that he's becoming more inane with his arguments. From what I can tell, he is a very passionate and opinionated person, not really major characteristics or the typical Asian as seen by society. Some of his recent posts have been offensive to me, particularly about women and our race. I do admit that most men have their sights on looks at first when meeting women, it has always been like that and always will be. Going further though, they get to find out who their partner really is like, and that's where the real meat in a relationship is. On our race, I have a good sense of pride in being an Asian and wouldn't choose to be any other race. I feel that we have a rich culture and many good traits that will bring us success in the world. That's about all I have left to say about DetunedRadio, I'm done with involving myself with his issues now.
10. Are you a hopeless romantic??
Hopeless romantic? That would mean that I'm dreamer or something like that I presume. I'm not that type of person. I am a realistic, logical thinker who knows his strenghs and weaknesses. I am ambitious and sometimes impatient, sometimes frustration comes easily for me. I have been told that I have good work ethic and determination though, so I believe that perseverance will help me succeed in life.

10 Questions with Stalin

STALIN

Special Interview #2
December 12th 2003

I. General Stalin are you well aware that we're in the year 2003?
Yes, I am very much aware, Comrade. Do you remember the Millennium Bug in the 2000 year? Well, that was a Communist method of propaganda to highlight the inefficiency of American computers. Truly, it was a master stroke. Unfortunately, the Americans were able to infiltrate this before it was too late, thanks to their Japanese counterparts. At the moment we are working on the British train system.
II. In a perfect world, How would it be seen in your eyes?
Everyone would be a citizen of the USSR, and would wear all red socks. I would be the world leader, and everyone would do as I say. Of course, it would all be for good of the nation, comrade! Also, as I have mentioned previously, all men bar myself will be sterilized in order to preserve the purity of the master race (many thanks to my good friend Adolf for this one). I will be the father of this race, and the women of the world will be the mothers. This will involve regular fornication when I see fit. Although it has been said that there is no such thing as perfect, I think these people are wrong. My world will be perfect for me... and you, comrades.
III. Do you have any strategic battle plans for the Mongolians and are your men well equipped to advance pass the southern Russian border.
My strategic plans are merely to take over all their land, pillage their villages and rape their womenfolk. Of course, I cannot do this all by myself, although I could If I wanted to. I shall of course be relying on my wonderful army to carry out my plans, and I will be supporting them from behind, as always, comrades. I will not be scared into hiding many miles away in a secure nuclear bunker located in the middle of Moscow, like many of my political counterparts before me, oh no. I will be very much in the thick of things, comrades. My men are equipped with passion, pride, determination, and one gun between two. This is all they need to conquer any nation, yes.
IV. Can I smoke in front of you General Stalin?
Smoking is a nasty habit, and Russian scientists (not American ones) discovered that it is bad for you. Hence, smoking is banned for all Russians, however, it will be made compulsory for all Americans from ages 2 upwards. 80 a day will suffice.
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"I stop to catch my breath. Stalin never once took his eyes off of me and it made me a bit nervous. I had to get up and shake the blues. "Comrade Louder...your chair impatiently awaits your return" he blurted out. and I thought to myself "What the fuck?"
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V. To live as long as you have, did Kieth Richards consulted you somehow because he's way overdue for his grave. What's your secret to longevity?
In the 1950s the scientists of the USSR were able to unlock the secrets of cryogenics, and therefore I am regularly frozen in order to prevent my body ageing much further. I do not know of this Kieth Richards. However, if he is a friend of communism, he is a friend of I, and Russia.
VI. How often do you speculate about Victory?
Victory is all important, comrade. However, I am becoming tiredsome of constantly winning. Maybe I should let the Americans fight back a little. Ah, Vietnam will serve me well.
VII. What about the British?
Fuck 'em
VIII. There seems like a whole lot of hot air General Stalin coming from your Country. Do you wish that everything only has ONE side to a coin?
In Russia, there is no currency, and therefore there is no coin, so there cannot be one sided. In Russia, we give out materials to the people equally and fairly, except for myself, my wife, my dogs and my goldfish. We are more equal than everyone else. As for this hot air, I do not understand. It is very cold in Russia, there is no hot air. I must wear many clothes regularly in order to stop my body parts shrivelling.
IX. Do you enjoy long walks around a frozen pond, General Stalin?
Yes, sometimes I imagine that the frozen pond is capitalism, and that I will jump on the frozen pond and SMASH the capitalist ice, freeing the communist purity underneath. You see, the fishes (the people) can only survive in the normal water, and capitalism is killing them. Hence, I will unfreeze the global pond, yes. I feel like ice skating now.
X. Will there ever be some kind of Harmony and balance between Communism and Socialism?
No, comrade. I will make this easier for your puny western minds to understand by using commercialism. Socialism is 'Diet Coke", whereas Communism is full Coke. Everyone believes that Socialism is better for you, but Communism is actually much sweeter and more enjoyable. Socialism or Diet Coke, is merely a diluted form of full Coke or Communism. I will not except Diet Coke.
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Right after finishing up my interview, General Stalin pulled out a sword and came toward me.He didn't say anything except smirked in my direction. I was frozen in mid-action trying to make sense of this.
"Are you going to kill me, General Stalin?"
He answered "Comrade Louder, I know you work for the U.S Government and I know you'll bring these answers back to your glorious Leader. I want you to know that Question No. 9contains the secret to my Strategic battle plan and I want you to promise me, Comrade Louder that you will not publish that one. Understand?"
I shook my head and he pats me on my back "Very well, Comrade Louder, we will proceed upstair to my study room and have ourselves a drink in celebration of your successful interview"
His laughter fills the room and echoes all the way back across the Atlantic ocean and fades out just short of reaching the shores of America.
But why would the echoes of his laughter move in that direction, instead of the Pacific Ocean you asked? its because he wants all of Europe to hear it.

10 Questions with Glittergirl

GLITTERGIRL

Interview #16
December 12th 2003
Sarah
www.9thdimensions.com
1. Are you currently Single?

Yes. And I'm currently accepting applications.
2. Henry Rollins or Stone Cold Steve Austin?

Hmmmm...Stone Cold is awsome and would make a great drinking buddy, but i'm gonna have to go with Henry on this one. I love his spoken word and could spend hours listening to his stories. And he's still kinda cute, i have a thing for guys with tattoos.
3. Tell me about the craziest Concert you have been to.

Oh wow, the craziest...there's so many. I started going to concerts when I was 16, I'm 22 now, and have tried to go to at least one a month since then of course that dosen't always happen. Cleveland has rowdy crowds whatever show you go see, at Tori Amos there's girls dressed as fairy's dancing in the aisle at Ozzfest it's 10am and the guys are already drunk. There have been so many of them it's hard to pick one, the craziest crowds are definatly Mushroomhead crowds. A homecoming Mushroomhead show is a sight to be seen. Everyone dresses up like it's Halloween. After Mushroomhead plays their set all the girls strip down and dance on stage. But the craziest performance by a band has got to be Mindless Self Indulgence. I've seen them 3 times and each time is wild. Their music is kinda pussy punk, industrial/hip-hop with this major 'fuck you' attitude it's great stuff. And the stage show, the lead singer is throwin candy out of his underwear, he's wearing a pink skirt with a black fishnet belly shirt on, his hair is pink and spiked up about a foot in the air. He's got one of thoes rafts you float on in a pool using it to crowd surf, he dumps cornflakes all over the front row of people, and the crowd goes wild. He's got some of the best monolog ever he'll say stuff like "Yea your mom bought your ticket didn't she? You know she's just using you to get to me. And that's sad...for me." Some in the crowd said faggot once and his response "Who you calling a faggot?? Yo yo..while you're out gay bashin I'm gonna be at your house fuckin your girlfriend....in the ass." They are definatly not gonna be on any awards shows anytime soon.
4. Which seasons do you like best?

All of them except winter. Summertime is my favorite. In Ohio our summers can get really hot and humid. I was born in the summer. I'm a Leo,a fire sign. I feel instinctively drawn towards warmth and fire. And when it's 95 degrees and 90% humidity you don't have to wear a lot of clothes and that's always sexy.
5. Sarah and Ty making out in the tree...will this impress your Father?

Hahahaha....actually I could just see him riding past on the riding lawn mower and waving. If you wanna impress him you'll move me outta his house.
6. Are you scared of being alone?

That's a deep question. I'm scared of being alone, not having someone close to me, and to share experiences with. I want to fall in love, and i wanna believe that there's one person for me. Being alone that way, not having someone to love and love me back is scary to me. I think you can have many soulmates and fall in love many times, but to have someone who's there for the long haul, that loves you despite all your issues, that's what i'm afraid of never finding.
7. Where is your mind usually?

Usually? Probably thinking about some boy. I can't help it. I'm boy-crazy. I love the way they look, I love the way they talk, the way they walk, the way they smell, the way they taste. I spend a lot of my time daydreaming. I think daydreaming should be a class you're required to take in school. Imagination is the worst thing you could kill.
8. Do you consider yourself lucky where you are right now?

Yea i think so. I could have ended up a lot worse than i am. I made mistakes growing up, and sometimes it takes a while to learn from them. You get into this cycle where it just repeats itself. Sometimes it's hard for someone to step back and say, 'what I'm doing is wrong'. And you have to admit things to yourself that you don't want to know. You have to find the parts of yourself that you didn't know you had, and accept those. You have to find your dark side and eat it. Darkness isn't about evil, it's about the unknown. Your mistakes become the lessons that you learn from. That's the only way to break that cycle.
9. Tell us about Dr. Timothy Leary's 6th level?

Dr. Leary calls it 'The Neuroelectric circut'. Or the psychic circut. Leary thought that there were 8 levels of concsiousness.The first 4 are normal levels of consciousness and the upper four are the 'psychic' levels of consciousness. The sixth circuit can be activated with LSD or mescaline or other natural psychoactives. The sixth circuit function is 'telepathy'. My experiences with the sixth circuit include picking up on my friends feelings, I know exactly how they feel without verbal communication. Picking up on a song in their head, I can start singing it at the exact point it is in their head. Keep in mind this is only with the use of psychedelics that I have been able to do this and it doesn't happen everytime. I think in another life I was a 'high preistess' or medicine woman'.
10. You saw God in a ceiling fan once...

Yes, something like that. I was on a mushroom trip by myself one night. I was at the computer with some Paul Oakenfold or something trancy on with my cool ass visualization program going to the beat. The room was lit with a soft warm yellow glow and I was staring up at the ceiling fan going around, admiring the shadows it made. And then my mind felt totally at ease, I was in a state of bliss. I felt another presence in the room with me, a loving presence, not all spiritual entities are bad.Then before my eyes I was seeing visions of sunsets over oceans and snow covered mountains and red painted deserts and this emence feeling of love. Maybe at the time i needed to see some beauty and know that there was something good out there and someone came to me that night. I was receptive enough to let it in and let it show me those things. it was a being of light and love...if it was THE god i'm not sure...but maybe A god

10 Questions with Shoey

SHOEY
March 20th 2004: Interview #3
1. Do you always have to constantly be around someone to avoid loneliness or could you live in loneliness and be okay with it?
I live alone, which has made me mature a lot. Last year, I kinda just stopped hanging out with the people I was hanging out with for various reasons, at first its kinda hard, but you get used to it. This was around the time I started posting on atease... heh. Alot of times I feel that the people around me don't respect me, and don't care about me and the person I am. It's times like that I'd rather be alone... At first its hard though, because I like to have people around me, and I get used to hanging out with friends all the time, but sometimes its just not worth it and I'd be willing to be alone.
2. In a bleak scenario: Where would you be right now if you had NOBODY to turn to. (no family, no friends) I just want you to imagine the possibility of that.
Well I never had many friends till high school and even since then there have been times when I didn't really have any "friends", but I've always had my family. Mainly my mom and grandfather. My mom has always been there for me and has always been supportive of me even if I fuck up here and there. If I didn't have her to turn to... It would be really hard. But, I guess I'd have to adjust. I'd have to pay for college on my own and that would probably make me work harder, I could do it now, but if I didn't have anyone, say, 2 years ago, I don't know where I'd be. I messed up a quarter in school and I've dropped some classes here and there, which you can't do if you have loans/financial aid... But I've matured extremely since then and learned my lesson and I think that if I had no one to turn to now, I'd be able to handle it.
3. Do you like to put yourself thru hell just to make the reward sweeter at the end of the trial?
Yes. If the reward is worth it. Life is a series of trade offs and sometimes what is hard now, pays off in the end. Like school, or standing by your beliefs. I never compromise who I am to make it easier for myself to make friends or be accepted, and I have realized that to make it in this world, I have to go to school and be educated, to work and do things that may be difficult and time-consuming.
4. When was the last time you had a really harsh argument with your parents?
I haven't even had a minor fight with my mom since I moved out. Even when I lived there I only fought with her about minor things, like doing the dishes, or tracking in mud... I really could do whatever I wanted, come home whenever, do whatever, but thats because I always did well in school and she trusted me.
5. Do you sometime wish you could just disappear from everything?
Yes. When I get REALLY embarrased or feel stupid I just want to explode. I try not to think about whatever it is and block it out... And I want to just disappear... But I get over it.
6. How difficult is life?
It depends on my mood. Honestly, some days I will feel great, look forward to everything and be carefree, and sometimes literally the next day or even the same day, I can feel that the whole world sucks and I'm not doing well and etc. I think in the long run, life is as hard as you make it. It also depends on how you define "difficult" and what you let get to you. I have never thought life is too difficult to live though, no matter how depressed or sad I get.
7. Are you afraid of taking the road less travelled?
Sometimes. I've gotten over that fear MAJORLY since I've graduated high school. I used to not want to go to a University, because all the ones I could get into were too far away. Now I've become really independant and more mature. I think that if I figured the road less travelled to be of more benefit than the usual route, I'd take it. Most definetly.
8. Do you remember any of your dreams?
Yeah, and I have really vivid dreams. Usually I remember my dreams everynight. Sometimes I have "sleep paraylsis" which is like, you're half awake and half asleep. I can open my eyes and see things but not move... this will happen if I oversleep till like 5pm because I just don't want to get out of bed, or if I take a nap. The dream will go in and out further into dream land and back into semi-consciousness. Like it will be normal, but then people will be there and then it will like transform into a regular dream. One time I saw someone on my couch and someone I couldn't see was hovering over me, like, I could sense them and I freaked out because I couldn't move or wake up. Or sometimes I'll just feel the presence of someone in the room and it feels evil. It's intense. Usually this also sucks because I want to sleep, but I can't because its too scary and I have to make myself wake up and get up. Also sometimes if something bad is happening in a dream I tell myself "this is a dream" and I wake up. If something really good happens, I sometimes get excited in my dream, and think, "I can do whatever I want, this is a dream!" but then I wake up... I like dreams and dreaming for the most part though. (whoa I just read your dream thread as I went to edit this and send the final version to you )
9. Which is better: Your Young adulthood or your Childhood?
I'd like to say right now, my young adulthood. I've grown up so much since I was a kid. Being a kid was fun... but, I've grown alot. Less things get to me, I'm less emotional (and I'm pretty emo right now, let me tell ya) I used to cry if someone said something mean to me, and I still cry pretty easily depending on the situation. I've also grown socially as well. I was really shy and unsure of myself as a kid... I used to just sit at home and read books all day everyday.
10. Are you afraid of dying of old age?
Kinda, but at the same time I hope that by the time I am of old age, I have things like family and interests and hobbies to keep me loving life. Right now I don't want to be 80 years old, but I hope at 80, I will have a reason to live, other than aesthetic beauty/youthfulness, etc... I hope to age gracefully.

10 Questions with Psychohedron

PSYCHOHEDRON

March 20th 2004

1. I want you to briefly tell my President, that is, President George W. Bush what you really think of him.
There wouldn't be much talking, more me lauging at him, I still laugh at that quote of his: "A majority of our imports come from outside the country".
Then I would tell him to always keep a dictionary on him, and to probably go back to a get a higher education. He would then probably accuse me of being a terrorist and threatning the freedom of americans. Then I would throw him into my future BIGGEST supermarket this side of the universe will ever see. (He wont be seen again)
2. When was your last good trip?
That would be New Years Eve '03. The day was very nice, beautiful weather. It was all at my friends house, we did up his backyard with these crazy paintins we made, of weird aliens and space ships (we had a blacklight to make them glow once the sun had gone down). Anyways, once the sun had gone down, we smoked a couple joints between us (there was four of us). I think maybe around 9pm, I did my 2 microdots (LSD), and around 4-5 grams of dried chopped up mushroom (I forget the species of mushroom they were(eating them was a bother, the taste is horrible, and them being dried and chopped up didn't make things simple to swallow, but i got it all down, with the help of water)). Then I sat around on a VERY comfortable beanbag for around 15 minutes (nothing had taken effect yet) and we decided to walk to a friend from school little party he was having (it was only about a 2 minute walk away). Once we got there there was just a few (about 7-10) people we knew from school, they were alright, we got bored though (and we were starting to feel the acid and mushrooms) so we ventured back to our base (my friends house). i think it was around 10:30pm now, slight visuals, nice feeling from the mushrooms. Between 11:00 and 11:30 i was feeling very good, getting some good visuals, had a balloon full of nitrous which very much lifted me up higher for around 5 minutes.
We decided to walk down to the water front to catch the fireworks they had to celebrate the new year. We got there around 11:50pm and the fireworks started at 12:00pm, by that time i was feeling the drugs quite heavily. The fireworks were amazing, when the big ones went off they would form into a face or something and slowly drip away and fall apart.
After that we somehow managed to find our way back, and when we were all back i was pretty much at my peak of the trip, we had projecter set up that would project one of those winamp AVS visual things onto the window, which looked awesome, we had this matrix effect thing on it happening, and there were many many faces forming in that. I had another balloon full of nitrous while i was at my peak, and that absolutely catapulted me into the universe, where i just sat back with my eyes closed and seeing many patterns and fractals forming in my mind. This pretty much went on from about 1am to 4am, then we tried going to sleep, but there was no chance of me sleeping (from the LSD) so i just layed in the bed hallucinating big time (it was daylight by this time).
The next morning/afternoon was beautiful, nice weather, sunny and warm, and i was as scattered as one could be.
3. Sit down. Close your eyes. Relax and think of the first beautiful thing that pops into your mind.
I can see a huge rain forest, full of ferns and gigantic trees. with little shallow flowing creeks running through. I have been to this place before (in real life, nothing in my head). and it is high on my favourite places in all of existance to be. Not being able to be disturbed by the revving of a car engine, or the rattling of a train (i live by a highway and train tracks..) The closest that I can get to this where i live is in the Geelong Botanical Gardens, it is nice there, has a fern section, very green grass and quite relaxing.
4. What do you think about while laying in bed inside your bedroom on a lazy Saturday morning?
Mostly what i will do for the day, or what I have coming up in my life and what not. Mostly general thinking of what i want to do with my life and all of that. I think about what i have done before, the good times, the bad times. Mostly just things like that, no real pattern.
5. If they came to take something away from you, what would be that ONE important item that you shouldn't or can't live without. (just name one. I'm sure you have more than one)
Probably my CD collection. It's what i wittle away my time with, that and the internet. I could live if 'they' took away my computer though. I'd adapt. That probably goes for most of my material possesions (including CDs). What could I do about it? If 'they' came and took any or all of my material possesions and I couldn't do anything to get them back I would have to deal with it, no use crying over spilt milk.
6. Are you exhausted with repetitive things? (think of something repetitive)
I get very exhausted of repetitive things, which is for me, my daily routine. Wake up -> Go to school -> come home -> internet, eat, shower -> sleep.
I have found myself doing things out of the ordinary to try and break these routines, like at the moment of writing this I am on a fair dose of codeine (opiate). Just to make my perception and feeling that little bit different, plus it makes me very very relaxed.
7. Where have all the days gone off to?
What day is it? 21 of march for me...shit. I can still remember being on holidays (november to feburary). These couple of months have flown by, I have noticed for myself that weeks go by very quickly, the first term of school is nearly over for me, only 2 weeks to go.
8. Will you sell your soul to the devil?
If there was such a thing, probably a not. Selling my soul to the devil might and probably would take away my ability to send myself into completely different worlds and state of mind.
9. What do you picture yourself doing in the next 5 years.
Probably entering the real world (from Uni) after completing my hopefully Plant Biology course, or (ethno)botany course. Other than that, i don't picture myself in 5 years, I more think of the present, and near future, I don't really have anything planned in the long term, besided university which i start next year.
10. What was the most disgusting thing you have ever had the displeasure of tasting?
I'd have to say, off milk. It absolutley disgusted me. I didn't think and just started to drink the milk from the carton, and it was lumpy and extremely sour. Ever since i have been paranoid of drinking milk, and ALWAYS check it to see if it has expired, even if the carton is new.

10 Questions with Moose

MOOSE

Interview # 4November 7th 2003
1. Public speaking has been something of a nerve wreck for most people because they fold so easily underthe pressure and eyes of a thousand out in a sea of people. Do you fear public speaking? If not, what do you fear most of all then?
No, you've hit the nail on the head right there. That's why the internet is a good thing. It lets me communicate with people despite my awful in-person social skills. Mainly cause words come out better from my hands than my mouth.
I actually have a long list of phobias and general anxieties, though public speaking (public anything, really) is probably my worst. Fear of failure is another of mine, which probably goes hand in hand with it, and that results in me never actually doing anything anyway. This could get boring, I'll just list them...
1) Public speaking2) Failure3) Heights - can't stand them at all. I refuse to go near the edge of anything over 3 or 4 storeys high. High rise buildings freak the shit out of me as well. I can see one on TV and it makes my palms sweat. They're doing it now just thinking about it. I don't mind looking out of planes though, that's kinda fun.4) Spiders - not frightened as such, but I have to exterminate them as soon as I see them. Probably bugs in general. Cockroaches have the Ooky Factor. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was on the other night. I had to leave the room.5) Claustrophobia - I hate lifts. Especially old clunky ones. The one at my university was awful, it used to stop a foot higher or lower on occasion... and then you had to force the doors open manually.6) Crowds - Related to claustrophobia, I guess. But also to my intense dislike of people.
Not that scared of death though. Comes from being a fatalistic pessimist I guess.
2. Are you still holding your breath for the world's first rapping Aborigine???
If only I was, I still wouldn't be turning blue. There is plenty of Australian rap and hip-hop, all of which falls under the banner of "Stuff I Would Never Listen To Unless I Was Undergoing Torture And Even Then I'd Try And Gouge Out My Own Brain With My Tongue". You haven't heard bad rap until you've heard Australian rap, though I'm not exactly a fan of the whole genre to begin with. I guess it's something to do with the accent... even worse than British rap. Most of it is perpetrated by the Lebanese community, though there are Aboriginals doing it for sure. The Aboriginal rap/metal band that were around a few years ago were also a very interesting/revolting experiment. There's not a huge amount of it though, most Aborigines still tend to stick to either folk/country or warbling stuff with didgeridoos in it. Or petrol sniffing.
Our radio stations have a certain quota of Australian music that they have to play, so this means that we'll never be free of this sort of crap. We're very patriotic about our music... shame that most of it's shit. The only stuff that makes it out of the country is rubbish, but they're are a few good bands around, most of whom can't even make a living out of it. Sad, really.
3. Who would you root for in an oil wrestling match between Rosie O Donnell and Oprahy Winfrey??
Oprah for sure. As Scott and James know, I watch Oprah probably a few times a week. I just like to sit there and yell at the TV. I haven't thrown anything yet, but I've felt the urge. I bought these three small fluffy reindeer yesterday (but I bought because they look like moose), so I might try those. I find it constantly amusing to hear Oprah say "African American" about 412 times each hour. Hypocritical bitch called someone a "white woman" the other day. Stupid whore. I also love it whenever she's got anyone famous on, she likes to go on about how the experience is for HER being famous. My favourite moment was when an actor (some half-assed cant-act-his-way-out-of-a-paper-bag loser... probably Matt Damon) was on and she said "After seeing [your latest shit movie that you've come here to flog], I feel inspired to act again." Even Matt Damon looked horrified. And mortified. Though he should be anyway, for making all those crap movies.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Anyway, as much as Oprah really sucks ass, Rosie is even worse. We actually don't get her show over here (thank God), but any time I've seen the woman she was in some crap TV show. Or a retarded movie with singing in it or something. And she's probably fatter than Oprah.
Actually, I'd probably "root" for a quick result in the match. No one would want that shit. And we Australians use the word "root" in a different context, usually.
4. If Radiohead had'nt existed, who would you be listening to right now???
Mmm, pretty much the same sort of stuff, I'd imagine. I hate Radiohead now anyway. Stupid bastards won't come to my town. Australian "tour" my fuckin' ass. And the b-sides for the new single... *snore* I think we may have to face the fact sooner or later that Radiohead might not be what they once were. Still, I'm prepared to be proven wrong.
But as for them not existing, my musical taste had pretty much started to develop as it is now before Radiohead made a good album. In high school I had an obsession with Pink Floyd. Other than that, I listened to a combination of commercial radio (shudder) and some of the good stuff that a friend of mine put me on to now and then. I wasn't that bad, but some of the stuff I own from that era makes me cringe. But then I spent some of my first year out of high school at my brother's place in England and he managed a record store in Cheltenham. I picked up a lot of my favourite things from that time.
Though a lot of the more recent stuff I'm enjoying, I might not have found if not for this board... I originally joined atease just for the Music forum. I used to get a lot of info from the NME, but I can no longer read a publication that insists that Coldplay was the album of last year. But I digress, if the question is who would be my favourite band if Radiohead weren't around? Probably Wilco at the moment... but The Dead Milkmen are always up there.
5. Yesterday, Did you woke up sucking on a lemon??
No. Though I had a honey and lemon drink pretty much as soon as I got up, as I had a sore throat. I had one this morning too.
Actually, I woke up remembering a dream for a change. I was dreaming about this other girl from high school (that isn't my girlfriend) and you know how sometimes your dreams merge with reality? I was three seconds away from calling my girlfriend "Lisa" (that ain't her name). Nice dream though...
6. What do you hate most in the behavior of women??
Withholding sex. For any damn reason they can think of. It's just fucking blackmail to extort perfect behaviour from me 24/7 - please note, this DOES include going to shops to look for fabric. And even if you're the most perfect human being on the face of the planet, there's always another shitty excuse. I've starting withholding everything I possibly can that I do as well, but that doesn't seem to work either. She doesn't notice. I'm like furniture. I guess this is a glimpse of what marriage is like, and why alcoholism is so prevalent. Why did I never get one of the interesting ones? If you know any dirty young girls (or even bored housewives under 40) in my area, or are one yourself, please feel free to apply via email.
Also, if you're talking women in general (not just ones I'm trying to have sex with), the most annoying thing is that they all think they're too good for everyone. If you actually look at any girl (and I'm not just talking about the snobby hot-looking ones either) they glare at you like you've just kicked them in the face. This is even the ones that you're staring at because you think a particularly ugly hippopotamus has just learned to walk on its hind legs, and are quite naturally intrigued. Following that, it's the sheer stupidity, bad musical taste, obsession with clothes, wearing mid-riff tops and letting your bulge sag over your hipsters, general superiority to men complex, and liking for crap movies and lifestyle programs that really irritates me...
7. Smoker or non-smoker??
Non-smoker, but not a militant non-smoking Nazi. My girlfriend and my dad both fit the latter category. It amuses me when my dad does it, cause he'll complain about someone smoking on the other side of a restaurant... (oh wait you can't do that anymore... well from a long way away) The funny part is that he was a smoker for 20 odd years, until the late 70's. And one day we went to visit him at work, admittedly probably 15 years ago now, and we caught him smoking. Myself, I really don't like clubs and pubs because of the smoke, just cause you can't get away from it. But when I was single, I used to bum a few off a mate of mine now and then. Generally only when I'd been drinking though. And that was a problem cause I'd have half a packet in a night, and for someone that only smokes once or twice a year, that really fucks up your throat. I can't smoke anymore though, because of the missus. She's even more violently against marijuana, but I never smoked much pot anyway... though I have a sudden urge to now.
8. I've never seen a great white shark before and we have some of those out here in California as well, mostly up in the Santa Barbara coast and Malibu all the way up to Santa Cruz. Pretend you've just got both of your legs bitten off by a Great White Shark, some people that are in pain usually walk it off. Demonstrate this to us using colorful quotes??? (hehe)
"It's just a fleshwound." But if you're talking Australianisms...
"Strewth. I think this bloody shark's bit me. Get me a band-aid will ya?"
Seriously, I think that's how most Australian males would react. We whine and bitch like anything over a little paper cut or something, but give us an actual serious injury and we refuse to feel any pain at all. I think it might be hard to "walk off" a bitten off leg though, you'd have to hop it off I guess. Oh, and I’ve never seen a shark except in captivity.
9. Can you send me a Koala Bear?? I really love those things.
Yeah, though I'd probably have to pack it up pretty tight, cause those things are fucking vicious. Sure they can be cute and cuddly, but you've seen the look in the eye of that one on the Simpsons. I think you'd be better off with a wombat. Sure, they're a lot bigger, but really very docile. Hmm, I'm sounding like a Used Marsupial salesman...
10. Do you know what a Carl's Jr is???
No.
Well that fucked that question didn't it?
Oh, google tells me it's a chain restaurant. Good? Ooh, that Western Bacon Six Dollar burger looks great... and evil... and disgusting. All at the same time.